Friday, March 01, 2013

Chasing the Rabbit down the rabbithole

So, snow.

With all the snow that we've had lately, and the treacherous conditions of the roads, and the puking children (yes, you read that correctly), I have not been out to see my mom or been out to my dad's house in well over a week.

And, it feels awesome.

Instead, we had dinner with friends last weekend (sweet!) and I got to go see my other friend and listen to her brand new baby be less than happy that momma had company (it was probably because I didn't bring him a hazelnut latte, too) and I just spend lots of time at home with the kids, playing Skyrim, reading books, shoveling snow, and working on the new online catalog for work that we're rolling out in July.

And I absolutely did not miss trying to be in two places at once, physically and mentally.

So, now, there's no snow (or at least there's less snow).

And my mom has been given a go-home date of March 8.

And my dad is starting to freak out be weighed down by the huge responsibility of taking care of mom and the drain that it is going to be emotionally, physically, and financially. And, to be perfectly honest, I think he doesn't want to be dealing with it. On that, we completely agree: neither of us really want to be doing this.

And it's heart rending and it makes me feel such an overwhelming surge of compassion ... and I just have to stop myself right there because down that way, madness lies. And probably some self-medication with red wine.

I have to not make this my thing. This is not my mess. This is the product of 30-40 years of living in a certain way and I could never have changed that then and I certainly can't change that now. Tomorrow we are to go out to see mom and then go to dad's and I am to continue on the somewhat gargantuan task of cleaning their house. It is in that scary, pack-ratty place that so many people get to. The reality is, if my parents want to see my family, they have to be able to have us to their house and without this intervention, that is not going to happen.

But, now that we have this March 8th deadline, I actually feel a bit more realistic about what I will accomplish. Mostly, I am going to have to continue to plug on and I'm going to have to manage it while constantly being questioned about what I'm doing and why. And, perhaps more importantly, I'm going to have resist the urge to respond, "because you people are a mess and you're weird, you are!"

Oh, Zod give me strength.

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